She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
