he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
