Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
