The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
