Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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