Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I will pee on everything he values.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
