I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
