you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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