I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
