rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
