Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
