dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
