i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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