drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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