So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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