i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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