Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
