those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
