I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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