she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
