Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
