worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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