I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
