Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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