You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
