what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
