she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
