We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
