There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
