Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Soap is not a condiment
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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