just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We are two peas in an std pod
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I deserve to be covered in dicks
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
