i can't believe i had my finger in that
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize