i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
