3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
