Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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