Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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