I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize