i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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