I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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