Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How external is "for external use only"?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
