I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize