He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
