Don't make out with my wife yet
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
