that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
