you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
