At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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