I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
