i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
