dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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