I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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