Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
