she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize