Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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