Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
