I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
