So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
