piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
