she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My hand turned me down
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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