I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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