i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize